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FIRE HAWK

politics are fun friends are priceless
Articles Posted: 16  Links Seeded: 0
Member Since: 7/2009  Last Seen: 12/05/2010

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What I found while searching for the Person I once was

Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:57 PM EDT
health, the-friends-house, fix-the-problems-the-warriors-way
By fire hawk
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Type Your Article Here ...Last week after another sleepless night filled with nightmares and feeling sorry for myself it occurred to me that what I've been searching for these last 10 weeks has been right there before my eyes no man could ask to be better cared for or loved by all and everything around him. just like the day of my stroke it suddenly hit me like a bolt of lightning. all this time for 10 months searching for something that was never meant to be, life changing events. like a stroke leaves you never again,

to be that other person. one had best live for the living life allows us our memories to remind us of those who love us to keep us warm when those icy fingers of self doubt wrap around our hearts when we discover one more time we are not immortal,because when you're 16 0r 60 we all believe we will live forever and are indestructible but time and life sooner or later will slap you up the side of your head and remind you nothing ever last forever and change like it or not will come, I will never be the horseman I was before that stroke,truth is It may be several more months before I am ready to really ride or train any horse much-less a horse such as Wind Walker., the two people I trust and love the most my wife and Doctor both tell me, because of my left arm and leg because of my neglect syndrome I may never be able to ride him again.

Of course I fire-hawk know they couldn't be right and I could ride him or fall off tomorrow and kill myself, after all smoking didn't kill me like they said it would almost but not quite. Speaking of smoking after 7 months of living smoke free and feeling better I started smoking again last month. Cause after all Fire-hawk would be the first to tell me and anyone else it wasn't a butt that hit me in the brain only a small clot. Of course he would also forget that when you play Russian Roulette and the chamber isn't loaded, only a fool will say let go for 2 out of 3 Today I discovered to my shock that there are an awful lot of things about ole Fire-hawk that I no longer find so attractive especially the tobacco, and bad temper, in fact most days I don't miss ole Fire-hawk at all so ladies and gentlemen once again I thank you for your friendship and patience, What I discovered in my search I really needed was just plain closure To have a wake wish Fire-hawk well and get on with my life making new memories as Stanley Hawk the new person I now have become.I have no doubt those who love me and have my best interest at heart will say old buddy don't let the door hit you on the way out but good riddance, this one's for you. Peace and love to you all until the next time all my best,

Hawk.

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  • Public Discussion (12)
Anna-90776

Dear Hawk, I am writing you with a lit cigarette in my right hand. I seem to type faster that way...This article is precious.

I believe a stroke does many changing things but best of all, perhaps, is that it finds sections of the brain that have always been there, laying dormant. All those little crevices never used before suddenly are at the forefront. Please don't fear them, but embrace them. They are after all: YOU! I like to think we all have multiple personalities and some of us control the majority of them comfortably. After a stroke maybe one less visible may rear it's head and be quite contrary to the fella we thought we were or at least to the one everyone else knew about! Have some fun! Write some articles. Put your new thoughts to print and rediscover all that only you ever knew before!

Thank you for posting this. God Bless you and I just had a cigarette with you!! I'll be watching for updates and your refreshment!

  • 2 votes
Reply#1 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:13 PM EDT
fire hawk

Anna thanks for commenting and taking the time to care all my best to you and yours I think sometimes we all need to find closure and just get on with what we're really good at great to hear from youagain

Hawk

  • 4 votes
#1.1 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:18 PM EDT
Reply
fire hawk

Anna you are such a nice sweet lady I am so glad you chose to be my friend

hawk

  • 4 votes
Reply#2 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:34 PM EDT
LifeTravler

I can't say much to this. I'm still not sure who I am after all these years.

  • 5 votes
Reply#3 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:33 PM EDT
fire hawk

LT wanted to tell you I have a new grandson, just one more blessing I am so proud of him and my son and daughter he is so beautiful he has my eyes and cheeck bones but looks just like his father

  • 2 votes
#3.1 - Sun Aug 1, 2010 5:19 PM EDT
LifeTravler

Aw, cher! Babies are just so precious. My granddaughter is six months old now. She's already trying to walk. She looks just like a little Gerber Baby.

  • 1 vote
#3.2 - Mon Aug 2, 2010 6:57 AM EDT
fire hawk

I' so glad to hear your grandbaby is doing well I bet she is a little doll

Hawk

    #3.3 - Thu Aug 5, 2010 11:55 AM EDT
    Reply
    Soovivers

    It's great to see you on here again Fire-hawk. I'm not sure some of us ever really know who we are but the search is what's important and makes life interesting.

    Take care hawk!

    • 4 votes
    Reply#4 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:29 PM EDT
    fire hawk

    Maybe that's why we do survive bad times we are given that 2nd chance to become a better person anyway I sure do make my share of mistakes

    All my best to you and yours

    Hawk

    • 1 vote
    #4.1 - Sun Aug 1, 2010 9:08 PM EDT
    Reply
    CL1

    That's a good point, Soovs. Not much different than a dream, eh? ..the 'reach' is more the attainment than the goal, sometimes. Discovering ourselves, imo, is more about finding answers. It's what you do with them that really matters.

    • 2 votes
    Reply#5 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:43 PM EDT
    fire hawk

    My thanks to all of you for reading the article and taking time to comment.I've learned that when I'm debating things that become a matter of the heart like race, politics and immigration, I have to keep a tight rein on my emotions or I can make an ass out of myself very quickly

    • 1 vote
    Reply#6 - Sun Aug 1, 2010 9:01 PM EDT
    CL1

    " ..I can make an ass out of myself very quickly." --- when we do that, I hope we make ourselves look like *smart*asses, not *dumb* asses !!

    (as you can see, after nearly two years here, I still don't handle the "reins" very well. :)

    • 3 votes
    #6.1 - Sun Aug 1, 2010 9:23 PM EDT
    Reply
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